We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family.”
“We’re taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”
“It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations….”
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years — not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children’s future.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter’s hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a Mother.
Every mom has a favourite quote and a special tone to scold or teach a lesson to their recalcitrant kids. We might hate this momism as a kid but we all so much miss them when we grow up. These harsh sounding and yet so sweet advices from mothers is what makes our childhood so special. These motherly sayings go a long way in building us strong and making us a better person. Though we hate our moms for being so harsh in their statements, ironically we all use the same momism that we received from our mothers on our kids. Oh God, how much we appreciate our mothers for coming up with such perfect one liners.
Here is list of most common and popular momisms. These motherly advise transcends the borders of time, space, language and culture. For kids are kids everywhere and Mom are always Mom...caring, concern, all knowing and full of love.
•Money does not grow on trees.
•Don't make that face or it'll freeze in that position.
•If I talked to my mother like you talk to me....
•Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident.
•Be careful or you'll put your eye out.
•What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
•You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
•Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
•If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
•Don't put that in your mouth; you don't know where it's been!
•Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.
•Don't eat those, they will stunt your growth.
•If you don't eat those, you will stunt your growth.
•What's meant to be, is meant to be. (Mom only used this when something bad happened or when you experienced a disappointment.)
•It doesn't matter what you accomplish, I'll always be proud of you.
•I hope that when you grow up, you have kids "Just Like you"! (Also known as the "Mother's Curse")
•Because I'm your mother that's why.
•This is why we can't have nice things.
•If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
•Eat your vegetables, those children in China (Africa, Vietnam) would be happy to have some broccoli to eat! (Contributed by Sheryl McDermott)
•If you fall out of that tree and break you leg , don't come running to me.
•"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come." Usually said in advance of grounding.
•Someday your face is going to stick like that. (Contributed by Karen G in AL)
•Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. (Contributed by Karen G in AL)
•Yes, I *AM* the boss of you.
•(Contributed by Karen G in AL)
•Because I said so. (Contributed by Karen G in AL)
•Just wait till your father gets home. (Contributed by Sandra Stofan)
•No dessert till you clean off your plate.
•(Contributed by Sandra Stofan)
•I brought you into this world and I can take you OUT !!
•(Mostly said after one of us 5 had done something really bad. Contributed by Marcie in Indiana)
•I've got eyes in the back of my head, that's how
•Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose)
•Just you wait until you have kids of your own - then you'll understand
•You tell that bully to cut it out or you'll tell the teacher...
•I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?!
•Honestly... You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
•Honestly, that cardigan looks great on you - the girls had better watch out with you around!
•Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age
"...from these honored dead, we take increased devotion to that cause for which they have gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve these dead shall not have died in vain...
As we remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the freedoms we enjoy every day, we think of how they have followed in the footsteps of your son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Please hold our servicemen and women in your strong arms. Cover them with your sheltering grace and your presence as they stand in the gap for our protection.
We also remember the families of our troops. We ask for your unique blessings to fill their homes, and we pray your peace, provision, and strength will fill their lives.
May the members of our armed forces be supplied with courage to face each day and may they trust in the Lord's mighty power to accomplish each task. Let our military brothers and sisters feel our love and support.
EAGLE BASE, Bosnia and Herzegovina -- It was raining "cats and dogs" and I was late for physical training.
Traffic was backed up at Fort Campbell, Ky., and was moving way too slowly. I was probably going to be late and I was growing more and more impatient.
The pace slowed almost to a standstill as I passed Memorial Grove, the site built to honor the soldiers who died in the Gander airplane crash, the worst redeployment accident in the history of the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault).
Because it was close to Memorial Day, a small American flag had been placed in the ground next to each soldier's memorial plaque.
My concern at the time, however, was getting past the bottleneck, getting out of the rain and getting to PT on time.
All of a sudden, infuriatingly, just as the traffic was getting started again, the car in front of me stopped.
A soldier, a private of course, jumped out in the pouring rain and ran over toward the grove.
I couldn't believe it! This knucklehead was holding up everyone for who knows what kind of prank. Horns were honking.
I waited to see the butt-chewing that I wanted him to get for making me late.
He was getting soaked to the skin. His BDUs were plastered to his frame. I watched-as he ran up to one of the memorial plaques, picked up the small American flag that had fallen to the ground in the wind and the rain, and set it upright again.
Then, slowly, he came to attention, saluted, ran back to his car, and drove off.
I'll never forget that incident. That soldier, whose name I will never know, taught me more about duty, honor, and respect than a hundred books or a thousand lectures.
That simple salute -- that single act of honoring his fallen brother and his flag -- encapsulated all the Army values in one gesture for me. It said, "I will never forget. I will keep the faith. I will finish the mission. I am an American soldier."
I thank God for examples like that.
And on this Memorial Day, I will remember all those who paid the ultimate price for my freedom, and one private, soaked to the skin, who honored them.
~ Captain John Rasmussen ~
[ by: Captain John Rasmussen (Army News Service, May 22, 2002) -- from Bill Rayborn (bill@billrayborn.com)
